Joy’s Stages of Life: December 2012: Be the Change

      Gandhi said, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…we need not wait to see what others do.” I agree with that quote.  As for me, I would like to change my behavioral patterns. I worry too much about unimportant stuff like what movie I’m going to see or missing it out, where my iPod or glasses are, when a charger is broken or worn out, whether I’m right or wrong about something, etc.  It’s common for people with autism to worry about unimportant stuff for some reason and they blow things out of proportion when they’re frustrated. People tell me little things are not a big deal or certain situations are not a big deal. I agree with them when I think about it. Autism makes it difficult to let certain things go, but I have strategies to move on and forget my worries by focusing on other more important stuff like my work or something. My strategies are relaxing, smiling, laughing, watching good movies, listening to music, and thinking about something else pleasant or humorous.

     Earlier this year, I’ve had meltdowns when I was mad about something, sensory overload, or for no reason. Screaming is one of the ways to get out of system, but that doesn’t resolve anything.   I used to take things the wrong way or overreact to certain problems.  Commonly, people with autism get upset in unfamiliar situations.  Then, I look back and fix things when they broke like a vase.  At an autism seminar, an autistic journalist, Sean Barron taught me not to blow things out of proportion, don’t let mistakes ruin my day, and no one’s perfect. 

     One of  my year’s resolutions is to turn from an uptight and impatient to an easygoing, patient person. When things don’t turn out the way I want, I’ll just let it go and move on.  Sometimes, you can always come up with a back-up plan just in case. Some discussions or situations are meaningless. My brain needs a vacation.  I’ve got bigger fish to fry.  I have always been an optimist.  Stress is unhealthy.  When I was a kid, due to autism, I hated changes in plans, but I learned how to be flexible.  Life is not a routine.  Sometimes, changes in plans can happen for good reasons.  You can’t always get what you want.  I try not to be a spoiled brat.  Flexibility is one of the strategies for relaxation. 

My advice to everyone:  Be flexible!  Forget your worries! The more you relax, the less stressed you’ll be. Let it go. From The Lion King: Hakuna Matata! It means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s a problem-free philosophy:


Hakuna Matata!




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