Joy’s Stages of Life: Feb. 2012: Definition of Love




Love means affection and happiness. There are different kinds of love in the world: family, friendship, and romance. Love conquers all. It’s in the air and everywhere in the world. Finding love is not always easy. Moving on to someone new is the best way to forget a previous love. Some people have trouble expressing their emotions. Some assume avoidance of serious relationships meaning the partner is not commitment material.   Compatibility and compromise are keys to a good relationship. Infidelity and adultery break up a relationship unless one forgives the other. Sometimes, expressions of affection may be unnoticed which undermines relationships.
People should learn how to give and receive affection in a partner’s preferred love style. They may doubt a partner’s affection if the partner doesn’t want to do any bonding. When you’re in love, it’s the way you look at and feel about another person. Jealousy only makes things worse. Infatuation means developing love and being jealous of a particular person when you hate to see your love interest in the hands of someone else. Intimacy is essential to staying in love. From the movie, Hercules’ song, “I Won’t Say I’m in Love”: “Don’t be proud. It’s okay you’re in love.” Gifts are symbols of love and affection. Some people believe helping others is an expression of love. Love also means putting others’ needs and priorities before yours.
The media tells a lot of positive stories about celebrity engagements, weddings, and how, where, and when civilians meet. They also tell us negative stories about break-ups such as celebrity divorces or the nasty ones on the reality shows such as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Tragic love stories happen in some movies such as West Side Story and Titanic or in some real life stories when one grieves for a break-up or losing a loved one to death. Even though it’s difficult, it takes time to move on from those kinds of losses.
A hundred years ago, love should have been the reason some people get married instead of be arranged to marry for financial reasons or to adhere to certain traditions. For example, in the movie, Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O’Hara sold herself marriage to a man she never loved, her sister’s boyfriend, to save Tara, her farm.

My parents’ example of love is putting differences aside. Even though they come from different religious backgrounds, their marriage has lasted for 45 years. They compromised and worked things out when raising their three children. They decided to celebrate Christian, Jewish, and Buddhist holidays.

Last year, I was engaged to a former online classmate, but we never walked down the aisle. We wanted different things in life. He opposed having kids while I thought it was a possibility. He moved to Japan for a new job, but I didn’t want to live so far away. Japan would be a good place to visit, not a place to live. After the break-up, I was depressed, went binge-drinking, and moved on. I made a vow to myself to find someone who would be on the same page as I am.

As John Lennon said, “All we need is love.”


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